The Last Day
by DiamondScales
Summary: Lightning goes to find Fang with the last day of the universe for some sexy fun times.
1. A Hell of a Mood Killer

Hi everyone. This is my first fic in a while, so I hope you enjoy it. I know it says comedy AND romance. Well the romance/smut is coming. And as for the comedy... Well, that's what reviews are for I guess. Also, this is a sequel to one of my old fics "Giving Ground". So read that as well, especially if you like this one.  
Enjoy!

ps: Yeah, this is based on the events of Lightning Returns, which I haven't actually finished yet. So some things may not be accurate in the canon, blahdeblah. Honestly, if FangXLight was a real thing in FFXIII Squeenix would have sold SOOOOO many more copies.

* * *

I had 13 days to save as many people as I could; believe it or not, I saved everyone in 12.  
_  
All the intractable NPC's anyway._

I don't care about all the rest of them. They never say a word, or they just squawk the same shit over and over at me. It gets annoying.

_True dat._

Anyway, what does one do with one day left?

_Fuck like little, biddy bunny wabbits._

Exactly. Thus began my trek to the Dead Dunes to find Fang again. Last time we caught up I was all, you know, deprived of human emotion, and she was all, lets save my oldest friend from killing herself by being a conduit for millions of screaming souls.

_Not a good time for sexy times._

Yeah, well, now with my emotions back, anytime is a good time for sexy times.

_Yeah, how'd that happen?_

Dunno. Anyway, now that I have my emotions back, and Vanille isn't dead, or in imminent danger of being so, I figured a soiree with Fang is the only way to spend my last 24 hours. Even with Hope watching.

_Ohohohoho! I didn't think of that. So much masturbation._

No kidding, the Ark is gonna be like a spiders nest by the time he's done.

_As in, with all the sticky white stuff on the walls?_

Yea.. Yes. I, you don't need to explain my own joke to me. Anyway, we should get moving.

* * *

_This place is as sandy as I remember it._

That's no joke. The Dead Dunes are nothing but sand, buildings waiting to be turned into sand by the onward march of time, and lots of drunken bandits. The monsters, thankfully, steered clear Ruffian, where the previously mentioned drunken bandits made home. And, of course, the desert sun, even at 6 in the morning, was hot enough to dull my libido.

_No it isn't.  
_Yeah, well, no. But if something could, it would be this sun.

_What about Snow's big hairy dick in your face?_

Yep, that'd also do it.

_What about Snow and Hope fucking while watching a recording of you and Fang?_

Again. Plenty to stop my sexy times.

_What about Chocolina joining in?_

What, with Snow and Hope?

_No, with you and Fang._

That'd be alright.

_What the fuck? She is a chocobo lady! She has wings and everything!_

They are wing-arms, and her tits are huge. So…

_Still counts as bestiality._

No it doesn't.

_Yeah it does._

Nope.

_Yup._

ENOUGH. I would happily welcome Chocolina into our little party, but she's probably catching up with Sazh.

_I'm gonna tell Fang that you were happy to engage in bestiality._

It's not and you can't. You don't get to use my mouth.

_I can tell her with my eyes. Every time she looks into your eyes, she'll see a foxy chicken lady staring back at her._

You done?

_Fucking was the only thing, the only thing I was good at. But, at least I always fucked for what I believed in.  
_

_I'm done._

Sweet. Now where is Fang?

_Don't ask me, apparently, I'm not allowed to use our eyes._

I rolled my eyes.

_Did you just roll your eyes at me!?_

Well you definitely didn't.

_I'm giving you a death stare, in case you couldn't tell._

I couldn't.

_…_

Now back to Fang. I should ask around.

"Hey, you. Where is the boss?"

"Wha?*hic*"

"The boss. Fang. Where is she right now."

"*Hic*I think she is *hic* in her office. *hic*"

"Thanks. Hey, lay-off the drink will ya? I don't want you dying from alcohol poisoning before the end of days."

No response. Well, he's a charmer.

_…_

Hey come on. You love making fun of NPC's.

_Oh, were you talking to someone? I couldn't tell. I can't use OUR ears or OUR eyes._

Oh fuck! You can alright! Just give it a rest. I don't want you being a sourpuss when we finally see Fang again. It'll bring the whole mood down.

_Sorry. I'll try to be a better deaf, blind, and mute voice in your head._

Motherfucker, I will put my head in a bucket of cold water!

_Our head._

FU…

_Kidding!_

Damn straight.

_To the right, and down the hall at the end of the entrance hall right?_

Yeah.

…

_Walk. Why aren't you walking? Do you know how to walk?_

Shut up. I'm getting myself in the mood.

_I thought we were already in the mood. That's why you got here so fast. And that's why your fun place is already throbbing and wet._

I was hoping that this would be a romantic reunion. So, you know. I don't want to dive in there tongue first you know? I want to be able to say something smooth and romantic.

_Our other friend down there says different._

She never stops saying that. Just be quiet all right? Give me a minute to think.

_…_

…

I start the long walk to Fangs "office". Down the stone halls, past the drunkards partaking in every carnal pleasure under Bhunivelze's good sun; and several that should only be allowed in moonlight.

_I honestly didn't know you could do __**that **__with __**that.**_

Yeah, if you get enough of it you can.

_Evidently…._

With every step, my heart starts racing faster, the carefully planned words seemed to flicker and slip around in my head, til I wasn't sure what words even were anymore. Finally, I arrived at her door. Her big, wooden door. The big, hard, wooden door.

_Ummm…I thought we had sorted out the whole, which horse do I bet on thing? Which parade I dress up for? Whether we follow Blitzball or Netball?_

I was being descriptive.

_Whether we like the honey or the stick?_

Hehe.

_You liked that one?_

Yeah.

_Welp, I've broken the ice for you, now do the thing._

Alright. I open the door (I know how to knock I just don't feel like it) and I see Fang. As radiant and sexy as ever.

"It took you long enough."

* * *

Hi again everyone, thanks for reading. Reviews are always welcome. And also, I put some Frozen, and MGS1 references in there for giggles. Any fans should get them right away. Holla if you do :D


	2. Demonic Tendencies

Alright, new chapter! Hope everyone likes it, it gets kind of darkish at the very end, but nothing terribly explicit. So, anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Fang was completely naked, sitting in a, and her feet up on a. She was surrounded by and. There were everywhere, and the stench of was overpowering.

_Hi, in case anyone was wondering, Lightning is having a bit of hard time with the whole situation she just walked into. So I'm probably going to be doing a lot of the talking for a while, mmmkay?_

Fang was completely naked, sitting on a large, somewhat fat, and hairy man on all fours, with her feet resting on the face, yeah the face, of some loli-girl. She was surrounded by men and women, ranging from, get out of my face you pervert to I'd hit that on the Lightning scale of attractiveness. There were discarded clothes everywhere, and the stench of sex and sweat was overpowering.  
Fang had seen Light as she was walking in, reprimanded her for being late, and immediately reapplied her lips to a rather attractive red-heads tit. No-one else in the room looked to the door.

"Guh."

_What is the meaning of this? Was what she meant to say. No-one payed any mind. The girl supporting Fang's feet with her face was licking them the way a dog licks a bone covered in blood, as in, a lot and feverently. Clearly Fangs skin was valuable real estate, as everyone clamoured to be close enough to stroke, or kiss, or lick, or bite, or all of the above. This had lead to a rather complicated situation, as they were all contorted in such a way I had not thought possible, or at the very least, particular comfortable._

"Mmmzah?"

_Why are all these people here? Again, not great with unexpected developments our Lightning. I should mention that no-one was jacking off, and there was no hint of anyone having done so, except for Fang of course. She was working her fingers in her crotch like a piston in a steam engine. I imagine its some sort of dominatrix thing, but I don't really know as yet. I'm in Lightning's head, not Fang's. Oh, and as you could imagine, that rather well-endowed red head getting her tits sucked knew exactly how lucky she was, and wasn't shy in letting everyone know in as many four letter words and moans as possible. Here, let me give you a sample._

"Oh fuck! Yessss, ohhhhhhhhh! Thank you! Fuck, GOOOOODDDDDD…."

_It goes on like that. Not terribly exciting stuff._

"F-Fang?"

_Ooooh, Lightning talks. Let's listen._

"Fang?"

_Huh._

"Fang?"

_For the record, Fang has shown no signs of acknowledging Lightning since she first walked in the room._

"Fang?"

_Now, if it was me, I would have grabbed whatever sword we happened to be wearing at the moment and skewered the redhead, the loli girl, then whoever was closest to the fun bits in descending order of fun and proximity. Lightning however, seemed perfectly content to keep repeating her lovers name while her sword hung limply at her side. And it was the only limp thing in the room, I swear to God, the restraint of the men to not start busting everywhere is remarkable. I mean, ignoring Fang, there is a whole bunch of reaaaally hot chicks in this room, and then, of course there was Fang. Tanned skin, brilliantly formed breasts, dark hair slicked to her scalp with sweat, and a face that could say "Fuck you", or "Fuck me" a million different ways._

"Fang?"

_Alrighty, this is really getting nowhere fast. Alright peeps, I'm gonna be taking control of the moving and talking bits for a while. While I do that, just imagine Lightning crying in the corner of her mind, saying "Fang" over and over again. Kay, here goes._

"Eat steel motherfuckers."

Badass right? I pull out my sword and, with the **blunt **side, start laying into everyone laying into Fang. For every swing there is a meaty smack of hard steel on soft flesh, with the occasional crunch as I hit face. Now, I know I haven't been doing much of the swinging lately, but this is still really weird. No-one flinches, no-one stops, they all just keep going at it like I had never even bothered to whip out a weapon fit for killing Gods and started hitting them with it. The red head girl, who got a solid hit in the face, fell down, but got right back up, and this time, straddled Fang so she could bury Fangs face between her tits.

It's at this point, as I look between my sword, wondering if perhaps it was made of sponge, and the scene unfolding before me that I noticed their eyes; all of them, bar none, had a kind of vacant stare going on. Not the look I'm used to when it comes to sexy fun times. Now, at this point I'm inclined to call rape, and turn my blade around and start using the fun side. But…

"They've been at this for a while now."

Fucking Lumina. Apart from the fact that she is a little devil child, whenever she invaded Lightning's brain case I get shunted to some far corner with the child hood toys, and memories of how to smile.

"So, you gonna do something about it?"

I was. But I'm more inclined to ram you through now.

"I was. But I figured I'd ask you some questions before I start bloodying up the place."

"Hehe, but that's not nearly as much fun."

Hand on my heart, and don't tell anyone this, but I swear I would actually just like to join in. But Light would never forgive me, and I live in her head, so it's not like I can just go ignoring her when she decided to give me a rant on the value of romance and true love and blahdeblahdeblah.

"Can we keep talking outside?"

"Does that mean you're not gonna start cutting up bodies?"

No. It means I want to be able to give Lightning a good reason why I killed a dozen people she just spent 12 days saving when she gets back from her vacation to "Mom and Dad still being alive land".

"Yes."

Lumina follows me out of the room skipping like a schoolgirl just asking to get a face kicking by a girl who really doesn't like skipping, after I give red head a smack that would knock out a behemoth on every kind of upper under the sun.

Once outside the newly named den of cravens, I give Lumina the best "don't fuck with me" look I can muster and say,

"What's happening in there?"

She gives me her best annoying little prat look and says,

"A demon did it."

"A demon?"

"Yup. A big demon appeared not long after you saved the world and started messing up your fine work. It's not just Fang and her posse, he practically lobotomised all those bandits you saw on the way in, and he turned everyone in Yusnaan into yarn."

"That's impossible! "

"No, it's just highly improbable."

"Well, how do I stop it?"

"Kill the demon I guess?"

"You guess?"

"I dunno, I don't know anything about demons or demonic curses."

"Well, where can I find this demon."

Now her eyes get really mischievous.

"I'll show you, but on one condition."

Oh dear God. Lumina asking for a condition is like a bear asking for honey. He doesn't _ask _and he bites off the hand you're giving it to him with.

"I want to join in with you and Fang after you break the curse."

And then it turns you around, carves a hole in your underwear and fucks you with its giant bear dick.

"No."

Again, I really wouldn't mind, but I imagine Light might have something to say if I agree to fuck some girl who looks like her dead sister.

"Then I won't show you where the demon is."

Ahhh, decisions, decisions. Agree, and get to fuck Lumina _and _Fang, with Lumina's whole loli-thing and Fangs whole tomboy thing I'll have every button being pushed at once. But, and this is a big but, I will hear about it, for the rest of time, from Lightning.

_Hey._

Oh, woah. Your back, sup Light?

_Do whatever you have to do to kill that demon._

Wowie. Even if it means fucking your little sister?

_For the love of God don't say it like that. And she isn't my sister._

She looks like it.

_Just do it._

Sure. Hey, you wanna take over? I'm gonna feel weird with you in the backseat giving me pointers the whole time.

_No, I, I… I'm not up to this._

Fair enough.

"Alright Lumina. You have a deal. You show me where the demon is, **and **help me kill it, and I fuck you and Fang at the same time."

"Yay! I just knew you'd agree Light, I just knew it! Ohhhhh, we are going to have so. Much . FUN! Alright I'm gonna teleport the both of us, so hang on!"

As she talked, Lumina jumped on me, wrapping her legs around my waist, and arms around my neck, all the while giving me a stare of pure lust.

This was going to be the best day I've had in a while.

* * *

I was watching the entire scene unfold from my spot in the Ark with the strangest boner I have ever had when I heard it. A scream to cut through time a space and rend eardrums everywhere from the owners and send them running off a cliff with a pack of hungry gorgonosopids at the bottom. Vanille had somehow found her way into the Ark and must have been watching the monitors while she saw her best friend getting gangbanged, kind of, by a bunch of horny bandits. The scream came after Lightning teleported away with Lumina, I guess it kind of snapped her out of her trance.  
Now she was on her knees, head resting in her hands on my lap, painfully close to my teenage boner, and crying her eyes out in a way only Vanille can manage. A way that is infinitely punishing to anyone in earshot, and intensely arousing to anyone who's dick she happens to be nearly touching with her soft round lips. And yes I was masturbating, and yes I am completely aware how disgusting that is. Honestly, being a teenager was hard enough, but going from full blown adult getting some whenever he felt like it to teenager again messes with a guy's hormones.  
Now, Vanille wasn't showing any signs of calming down, and my head was still rock hard so I did the only thing a guy would do in this situation. I grabbed her by the shoulders, and I kissed her. Her tears and saliva mixed together; she didn't really respond at first, but soon she returned my kiss with equal vigor. It didn't take long for her clothes to start coming off, revealing her young, nubile, naked body. She sat in my lap, my dick sliding into her, and as we began to fuck properly, her small, beautiful tits bouncing in front of my face, I swear I could feel God himself watching, and judging.

* * *

Hope everyone enjoyed this one. Reviews are always welcome.  
Oh, and there was another reference in there. Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy this time.  
Next time!


	3. Killer Bees and the Like

Well that took forever. I didn't write this for so long because I really wasn't happy with the first two chapters. Then I read them again recently, and I liked them again. So, sorry.  
Enjoy.

* * *

You know what sucks?

_Snow in a happy ending's massage parlour. Hi-ho!_

No. Killer bees. Killer bees as big as cars.

_Well that goes without saying.  
_  
You sure? Cos you seem awfully chipper given our current predicament.

_I'm just enjoying watching you deal with the monsters while I get to chill out in my brain case.  
_  
Huh. So you've forgotten about the situation over the the Dead Dunes, with Fang getting gang banged by dirty bandits; as well as the prospect of fucking your little sis after dealing with a demon that I can only assume sucks worse the car sized killer bees?

_You know, its weird. I had completely forgotten about all that. I think its the bloodlust._

Well, having been reminded, maybe you could stand too not be so happy while Im out here doing all the work.

_What, like you always are? No thanks. I'm gonna keep on masterbating to memories of Fang with her clothes off._

As long as you clean up before we switch again.

_I make no such promises._

You've probably gathered by now, but we're a fair way up this demon tower now. And by we I refer not only to the backseat driver currently squiring all over the inside of our shared cranium, but also a bubbly little shit who _apparently_ can't keep her clothes on for more than 5 minutes when fighting monsters. Or stop from touching herself. And looking at me. And moaning with pleasure. And using her very impressive acrobatic talents to eat herself out while hovering in mid-air.

_Om nom nom._

I know right? Its still unverving as fuck though. Mainly because she hasn't broken eye contact once. I turned a corner ahead of her once a few floors down, and I could still feel her eyes burning holes in the back of my head.

_Hey, you think she's watching me get off?_

You know, she might be. She is a crazy witch monster.

_Crazy witch monsters are definitely capable of peering into an individuals subconscious._

"

Heeyyyy! Light! Lookie! This is the door I was telling you about!"

_Its talking.  
_  
Don't be mean. She's definitely a she, irregardless of her classification as a crazy witch monster.

_Whatever.  
_  
_"_So? What's so cool about this door?"

"The demon who possessed Fang and her posse are behind this door. I must have told you a million times. Da-doi!"

_Ask her what's up with all the phallic imagery engraved into the door.  
_  
"What's up with all the dicks?"

_Very straightforward.  
_  
"What did you expect a lust demon to like? He's covered in dicks. Like, instead of hair or something."

_Just the room for a trio of lesbians.  
_  
Whaddya mean a "trio"? I'm definitely bi, and Lumina doesn't really strike me as the type who cares about gender. Or species.

_Fine, fine. But I'll be damned if I'm the only one who isn't looking forward to a demon made of dicks. Have you seen many demons who live at the top of massive towers?  
_  
_"_Not really."

_They aren't usually small. Do you really want to get raped by a massive dick demon? Are you seriously telling me that's your idea of a good time?  
_  
No. I was just rejecting your classification of me as a lesbian. I don't like labels.

_Well, if you were on a desert island, and a big manly man hung like a horse, a cute little girl with clipped nails and a tongue that could double tie you shoes, and a ladygirl with a dick where her clit would be are all lined up. Which one do you go for?  
_  
The girl obviously. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't go for the other two if I could.  
_  
Yeah, whatever. I'd love to see you get fucked by a futa._

Well, your sitting in your own unconsciousness. Use your imagination.

_Tell me you haven't imagined me getting fucked by a futa._

Oh, I've imagined everything. It gets awfully boring in there.

_Yuck._

"Heya! Light? We going through this door or what?

"Tell me the plan first."

"Welp, I was thinking you charge on in and distract the demon while I cut it up from behind."

"I'd rather avoid drawing the ire of a giant dick monster. How about you distract it, while I cut it up? I am the one who knows how to use a sword."

"Are you saying you want to see me get destroyed by a giant dicks?"

_Is that a twinkle in her eye?_

"No, its just that you can fly out of reach from the previously mentioned giant dicks?"

"Awwww. Here I thought you wanted to see me get deflorated. Why don't you love me Light!"

_Twisted._

"I do, I do."

_Me too actually._

"

Its just that if that monster gets a hold of you, then who knows if you'll survive. And if you don't make it out, I won't get to deflorate you myself."

_Way to turn it around._

"I guess its okay, when you put it like that..."

_Wait a minute..._

"

So you'll go in first and distract the fucker?"

_Did she just imply that she's a virgin?_

"

Yup! Anything for you Light!"

_I just checked, deflorate means to take a woman's virginity! How the fuck is that demon child still a virgin after 500 years?!_

I imagine it was a exaggeration for our sakes. I know I'd rather hit up a virgin than someone who's been slutting it up with the last remnants of humanity for 5 centuries.

_True. Hey, where'd she go?_

The phallic door stood ajar, and screams of the rather petite Lumina echoed from within.

Have a guess.

_To go fuck a giant dick demon.  
_  
Ding ding ding!

And so it was that I went into battle with a monster made of giant phallus'. I'm so pumped.

_Full of semen! Hi-ho!_

* * *

Vanille was curled up under the desk in the foetal position sobbing. I've gotta say, that doesn't instill me with a lot of confidence about my sexual prowess. But I think she's more upset about the goings on of the screen above her. It would seem that that demon Lightning and Lumina had gone to slay had decided to up the ante when it learned of its impending doom at the hands of a warrior goddess and devil child. Fang was no longer dominating her subordinates, instead, well...

I don't entirely feel comfortable describing it actually. Just know that monsters are NOT for playing with, and spears are traditionally wielded with two _hands_, and used on said monsters.

* * *

_I can't believe it...  
_  
_Why?_

We're sisters?

How could she do this?

_Why didn't she ask me to join in?_

* * *

Hey, you got to the end! That makes me happy already :D  
Yeah so, review.  
I promise the next one will come .  
Oh, and if anyone notices any grammar or spelling issues let me know, cheers.


	4. Boss Battle!

The beast stood at least 15 foot tall; it could be most closely likened to a Malboro, but without and discernible face, and phalli instead of tentacles. And they really looked like dicks too, all flesh, with bulbous red heads, and blue veins a size befitting a giant. To make it worse, it was covered with deformities, scars from old battles, warts and lesions from its innumerable conquests.

_Lalalalala, I am not listening, lalalalala._

Lumina had been ensnared by it, and was being held close to its centre, behind a writhing wall of penis's, I could see that she was being...

_NOT LISTENING_

...abused by dozens of...

_LALALALALALA_

_..._each one the size of...

_Stop. Just stop describing it, and start killing it.  
_  
Fine. Lets fight.

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Attack _0  
_  
What!

Gargamelle uses thrust! Lumina screams!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_Try fire._

Magic. Fire. 0._  
_  
Great idea.

Gargamelle uses thrust! Lumina is getting excited!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_Oooh, try blizzard! Extreme cold is sure to hurt a writhing mass of dicks!  
_  
Magic. Blizzard. 100.

Gargamelle uses thrust! Gargamelle cums! Lumina orgasms! Gargamelle healed for 100!

"Oh for, WHAT! Lumina! How could you be enjoying that!"

"Mmmm! AH!AH!"

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_Your gonna have to get Lumina free first. Target the dicks that are screwing her.  
_  
Kay.

Magic. Blizzard. 200. KO!

Gargamelle uses thrust! Lumina screams!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_Target all of them at once idiot. It'll just heal before you kill them all.  
_  
I'm not used to this whole thing all right!

Magic. Blizzard. 200. KO!

Lumina is freed!

Gargamelle is looking forlorn...

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_You've gotta get her up and moving, otherwise she'll just get caught again.  
_  
I know, I know!

_Oh yeah? What item you gonna use then?  
_  
Potion. Obviously.

_Well, that would do it if she wasn't out cold from a dozen giant dicks pounding her for 4 turns.  
_  
Oh. Right.

_Phoenix down you dunce.  
_  
Item. Phoenix Down. Lumina is revived!

Gargamelle looks like it is about to cry...

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

_Now potion her.  
_  
Kay, kay.

"Hey, Lumes! Use Ice!"

Item. Hi-Potion. Lumina healed for 500!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

"That damn thing... couldn't even last 3 turns... I'LL DESTROY YOU!"

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

Gargamelle seems to be enjoying itself again! Gargamelle swells!

_I don't like this..._

_You've got to kill it quick!_

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

"Lumes, your up!"

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

Gargamelle swells! Gargamelle is leaking!

_Holy fucking shit, DON'T LET THAT DAMN THING CUM!_

"I know, I know!"

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

_Its gonna explode!_

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

"Lumes! Run!"

"Don't you dare finish yet, you oversized sex-toy!"

Gargamelle flinches at Lumina's vitriol! Gargamelle shrinks!

How do I do that?

_Must be class specific. Keep the magic going!  
_  
Right, right.

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

"I can't believe you! Your entire being is comprised of dicks, and somehow, you haven't even learnt to use one of them right!"

Gargamelle flinches at Lumina's vitriol! Gargamelle shrinks!

Attack  
Magic  
Drink  
Items  
Flee

Magic. Blizzaga. 250!

Gargamelle has no HP! Gargamelle is defeated!

* * *

"Well, that was something else Lumes. And a deal's a deal. I'll screw you and Fang's brains out."

_Oh god. I'd forgotten. What are you doing reminding her!  
_  
"No thanks. I'm gonna stay here in keep Gaga company till the end."

"Your doing what now, with who the hell?"

_Don't argue!  
_  
_"_I figure he must have been pretty lonely up here, all on his own. He needs me more than you do anyway."

"Righty-o. So, I can go now, curse is lifted and everything?"

"Yep."

"Sure you don't wanna come join?"

_What are you doing?_

"I mean, there's two of us, not covered in warts and blemishes, objectively more attractive than a giant monster comprised solely of dicks and minute traces of pubic hair."

_Stop.  
_  
"Plus, we just knocked this guy out, me and Fang will be ready to go straight away, and you know I can last a while."

_For the love of all that is holy, JUST STOP TALKING.  
_  
"No, really. It's okay. Go enjoy yourself."

"Come on, it'll be more fun with you..."

_Nope, that's it. I'm taking back control.  
_  
_...there. Wait, what!  
_  
That's what you get for flirting with my sister. Back in the passenger seat.

_Hey, you are the one who said she only 'looks' like Serah!  
_  
Yeah, well. Still counts.

_So are you telling me, that after all the work I went through, fighting killer bee's, and giant dick monsters, and what I'm pretty damn sure were cum flans; your telling me, I don't get to have any of the fun?  
_  
Pretty much.

_That's just. Just the worst thing ever._

* * *

So, that was the end of that chapter. The next one will be the last one, where Lightning and Fang finally get those fun sexy times. Review, and shiz.  
Thanks for reading!


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